Monday, May 30, 2011

Departure



The solemn, solitary yellow lamp shines on the aquamarine casket as the sun shines on the Atlantic Ocean 

Smiling and looking forty years younger, she floats peacefully amongst a bed of flowery corals

Men women and children come from far and wide, docking their ships and holding their heads at half mast  

She's given so much for the taking, making them pirates, whose time it is to give back, to let go

***

She's sinking now, fully submerged by the ocean, on her way towards the unknown, the dreamt-of :

Atlantis

Remembered forever and forgotten daily


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

May

I please live my life?
Loved or loathed - ambiguous
A dandelion


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Closer


She looked like she was already gone with white sheets concealing her whole body except for her head which was a mask of Frederick Douglass' hair and Dizzy Gillespie's cheeks

And yet when she opened her one-toothed mouth to let out a shrill sequence of inaudible screams she resembled the cover of “In the Court of the Crimson King”

She wasn't herself

Still in her delirium she recognized my face amidst a patchwork infinity as if I was a black tree in a far-away forest as she fell further and further from Angel Falls as a decomposing mist closer and closer minute by minute approaching the River Permanence  






Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Playground


We grew up together, played with each other in the sand right next to the slide. That was dangerous, I suppose.

No. No more than when I watched Travis push you on the swing – higher and higher as if you were going somewhere, while in reality he was just pushing you away.

Nick wasn't any better with you on the monkey-bars, always running before you while you hung on for dear life, your hands aching and chaffing with a misplaced pious patience as your legs dangled above a mulch-covered tomb. Always running before you, always the cheater.

And after all that, you settled for Matt, whom I've never seen face to face. The two of you have shared so many ups and downs that I've never seen more than his profile. No walks around the park. No sitting on the bench, gazing into the setting autumn sun. Just see-sawing, jack-knifing, aberrant sexing.

Meanwhile, the sun is setting on your son. I hold him close to me in the twisted tufts of grass, to the right of the slide, across from the dead azaleas, all encircled by mulch. Though his eyes reflect his parent's imbalance, I spy the length of sixteen summers in the horizon. I pray it's enough to protect him from the longest winter.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

April


Rain-filled days keep my
Malaise ablaze paradox
Winter's humid haze


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Driving through the Dining Room



It seems like yesterday when my sister and I sat in Aunt Barb and Uncle Greg's kitchen, giggling while we peeked at Ms. Jackie and Mr. Greg Jr. on the loveseat in the living room as they lasciviously locked lips behind an outspread newspaper.  It wasn't long before they married and had two gigglers of their own.

It was just yesterday when I saw Greg Jr. in the far corner of Chick-Fil-A while I waited on my #1 with a peppermint shake.  His face was taut, slightly wrinkled, and listless like the obituary section of a rained-on newspaper.  

I looked at him knowingly, both of us stuck in an alternate reality.  No loveseat.  No carpet.  No home-cooked meal.  Hard booths.  Floor tiles.  Plastic trays.  Flower vases at every table - unnecessary garnishes - just like divorce papers. 


Monday, January 3, 2011

Vamos

You have a nice-looking family. Have a pleasant day.




As the ebony man with the lazuline LA Dodgers cap and dark sunglasses saunters up Saint Paul Street, I wonder if his mystique is that of one cool dude or a clairvoyant.

We've always been a nice-looking family, if not always a cohesive one.

    My silence

        Mother and sister's constant bickering and backlash due to their similarities

            Father's silence

        My silence and father's silence

                                                                                  Slammed doors

                 Raised voices

                                                                   The Paddle

                                                                                                          The Bible

    Mother said I stopped smiling when I was six

        Mother said sister and I would be heartbreakers one day

                                                  Father wasn't always quiet with the ivory women

    Mother's tears make me murderous

Sister and I will likely never marry and will kill the family line

But we've stayed together. We wait with others in the rain for the Bolt Bus. Mother stands under the shelter of sister's umbrella so the rain doesn't mingle with her tears. Father's sun-yellow hat keeps him dry. I'm wet and ready to go. But sister is the only one leaving – to Argentina. She wishes to visit as many Spanish-speaking countries as possible while I want to mold this melting pot mess of a country in my hands. We're married to the move. We go and we go and we go.

Hasta luego, little blackbird. Vaya con Dios.